


That's Enough For Me

by Miko



Category: Junjou Romantica
Genre: M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2009-01-25
Updated: 2009-01-25
Packaged: 2017-10-21 08:49:35
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Underage
Chapters: 1
Words: 6,981
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/223295
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Miko/pseuds/Miko
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Having Akihiko as a best friend had always been enough to make Hiroki happy. Unfortunately, growing up means things never stay the same.</p>
            </blockquote>





	That's Enough For Me

So far, high school was a total blast. Hiroki could hardly believe how awesome it was. What a difference from junior high! The classes were interesting, the teachers were intelligent, and best of all, there were plenty of classmates who hadn't been with him all the way from first grade. Instead of being 'that weird rich kid', he finally had a chance to really show what he was worth.

And it was paying off, too. The girls all giggled and blushed when he walked by, whispering to each other and sighing over him. Every guy in the class wanted to be his friend, jostling each other to try to get close to him. But Hiroki was playing it cool, keeping his distance, letting them come to him instead of the other way around.

Besides, Akihiko was way cooler than any of these losers. Hiroki was happy to bask in the general attention, but it was Akihiko's smile that really made his heart go...

"Kamijou-kun!"

Something slammed into the desk beside his head, and that combined with his name being shouted startled Hiroki badly. He sat bolt upright, already stammering out an apology, struggling to figure out where he was and what the hell was going on. He'd just been about to go eat lunch with Akihiko on the roof, hadn't he? Why was the teacher yelling at him?

Wait, was he in class? Why had his head been down on the desk?

Snickering and giggling from all around him clued him in, and the glare the literature teacher was directing at him sealed it. Like a dork, he'd fallen asleep in the middle of class. Hiroki felt his face burning, and ducked his head so his hair would hide his eyes. Way to start his first day of classes in high school.

" _If_ you'd care to join us, Kamijou-kun," the teacher said sarcastically. "Perhaps you could share with the rest of us your opinion on why the author chose to use the metaphor of the cherry blossoms, and what his deeper meaning was?"

The teacher intended to humiliate him by making him admit that he didn't know what metaphor they were talking about, Hiroki knew. The sad thing was, he didn't even need to glance at the page. Sighing, he started reeling off the various theories literature scholars had put forth on that particular metaphor.

So far, high school was a total bust. Hiroki had been so _sure_ that a high school lit teacher would have to be the kind of kindred spirit he'd been searching for; someone else who could understand his love of the classics and the meaning behind them. He'd expected a challenge, interesting debates, and the thrill of learning something new.

Instead the teacher had a monotone that could put anyone to sleep, and Hiroki already had the entire semester's reading list memorized. He wouldn't have to crack a book all term... and that wasn't what he was after.

Worse, he'd just made an idiot of himself, and he knew from experience that he hadn't won any points by actually _knowing_ the answer. Now the teacher thought he was a smart-ass, and the rest of the students thought he was a brainer and a show-off.

And worst of all, Akihiko wasn't even in his class! It was the first time they'd been separated since the other boy had moved here from England. If Akihiko had been sitting next to him, they could have passed notes or at least traded eye-rolls over the teacher's stupidity. Akihiko might not be as much of a literature fanatic as Hiroki, but as an aspiring author he could appreciate the value of the subject. As it was, Hiroki was forced to endure the torture of boredom in solitude.

Finally the bell rang to end the class, and Hiroki hastily gathered up his books. It was lunch time, and at least _one_ part of his stupid dream was true - he was supposed to meet Akihiko on the roof for lunch. He couldn't wait to tell his best friend all about the disappointment of the literature class, and they could bitch together about the idiocy of the other students. Well, Hiroki could bitch and Akihiko would listen. That was just the way it was.

He hurried up the stairs, the exertion making his heart pound a little faster, and he was a bit breathless when he hit the door at the top. He spotted Akihiko right away, his gaze drawn to his friend like a magnet, and he headed in that direction.

"Hey, Akihiko! Can you believe this place?" he complained as he walked. "I mean, seriously. I thought we were finally gonna... huh?"

He stopped short when he spotted a smaller boy sitting on the other side of his best friend. The stranger was dark-haired and wore glasses, and he had an open, friendly smile. He looked up at Hiroki in surprise, and Hiroki frowned. "Who the hell is this?" he demanded of Akihiko.

"Hiroki," Akihiko greeted him, turning to smile at him. No... he'd _already_ been smiling, Hiroki realized, stunned. Smiling at this stranger, this... this _interloper_. Akihiko never smiled when anyone but Hiroki was around to see him. Not this smile, his real smile.

"Takahiro, this is my best friend Hiroki, that I was telling you about," Akihiko continued, oblivious to Hiroki's dumbfounded shock. "Hiroki, this is Takahashi Takahiro, one of my new classmates."

"Ah, so this is Kamijou-kun!" Takahashi laughed, and beamed up at him. "I know it's only been one morning, but Usagi has already talked about you so much I feel like I should know you. It's nice to meet you."

"Usagi?" Hiroki repeated stupidly, instead of replying with the polite phrases he should have used. He didn't _want_ to be polite. Who the hell did this guy think he was, just barging in on his and Akihiko's private lunch, and calling Akihiko by stupid cute little nicknames? Seriously, did the guy _look_ like a rabbit?

To his further shock, Akihiko actually chuckled. "He misheard me when I introduced myself," Akihiko said. "Now it seems to have stuck."

"B-but..." Hiroki stammered. But it was a _stupid_ name. Why wasn't Akihiko objecting? Why wasn't he giving his expressionless, polite face, the one that he always wore around everyone but Hiroki? Why was this stranger here, intruding on their time together, sitting next to Akihiko like he belonged there?

"Why are you just standing there?" Akihiko asked. "Come sit down with us. Your mom gave me peaches this morning."

"They're delicious," Takahashi added, smiling wider at him. "But I'm confused. Why did she give them to Usagi, instead of you, Kamijou-kun?"

That was it; that was absolutely the last straw. "Because she's got a fucking crush on him," Hiroki snarled. "I don't know! Ask him." He glared at Akihiko. "I'm going to eat with some of the guys from my class," he lied. "I just came to see if you wanted to join us, but you're obviously busy. See you."

"Hiroki!" Akihiko sounded startled, and a little dismayed. That made Hiroki feel better as he turned and stormed back down the stairs, not giving Akihiko a chance to say anything else.

What the fuck! It had always been the two of them, _just_ the two of them, since the day they'd first met. Two misfits, back-to-back against the world. _He_ was the only one who got to see the real Akihiko. _He_ was the only one Akihiko came to when he was upset. _He_ was the only one who got to read Akihiko's writing.

 _He_ was the _only_ one Akihiko ever smiled at like that, damn it!

Hiroki slammed through the doors into the library, ignoring the shocked giggles and dirty looks he got for making a scene as he threw himself at the nearest shelf of Japanese literature. He'd show Akihiko. That asshole wasn't the only one who could find something better to do with his time. All he needed was a wall full of books, and Hiroki could lose himself for hours.

Eventually Akihiko would get bored with whatever it was that interested him in Takahashi, and he would come back to Hiroki just like he always did.

Surely.

* * *

High school _sucked_. There was no two ways about it.

More than anything else in the world, Hiroki longed to go back to the days of junior high. Back to the time when everything had been _normal_ , and his world had pretty much consisted of him and Akihiko, and everyone else could go to hell.

Especially certain irritating schoolmates with stupid names, who thankfully hadn't _been_ schoolmates back in junior high.

That particular person could _still_ go to hell, as far as Hiroki was concerned. And at the moment, Hiroki was perfectly willing to pitch Akihiko in after him.

 _Nothing_ was going the way it was supposed to. His classes sucked, his teachers sucked even more, his classmates sucked _hardcore_ , and Takahashi Takahiro sucked so much that it was a wonder he didn't implode.

Hiroki sat alone in one corner of the roof with his lunch, nose buried firmly in his book and paying absolutely no attention to anyone around him. Really. Certainly not to Akihiko and Takahashi, over on the other side.

They were laughing and talking; rather, Takahashi was laughing, and Akihiko was smiling at him in a particular way that Hiroki had never seen before.

Not that he cared. It was totally irrelevant to him. It did not matter to him _one bit_ that Akihiko was over there cozying up to Takahashi, instead of over here hanging out with Hiroki. It mattered so little that Hiroki hadn't even noticed that Akihiko and Takahashi were up here for, oh, a good half a second after he'd come out onto the roof. Maybe even a whole second.

Realizing he was glaring over the top of his book, Hiroki quickly wrenched his gaze back down to the page. It was the same page he'd been on when he'd started eating lunch, almost half an hour ago. He'd like to claim it was that absorbing a book, but it was just his stupid math textbook. The school library also sucked in comparison to his collection at home, it turned out.

It was hardly the first time he and Akihiko had had a spat. Hiroki's temper virtually guaranteed that he would blow up at just about anyone eventually; the wonder had always been that Akihiko never blew up at him in return. The other boy always left Hiroki alone for a day or two, letting him cool down. Then Akihiko would approach him and just pick up where they'd left off as if there had never been a problem, and Hiroki would happily go along with it. He never stayed mad for long, but he hated to apologize. Akihiko knew that, and so it had always worked out.

Before. Before _Takahashi_. It hadn't been one or two days. It had been two _weeks_ , and Akihiko was still showing no signs of coming to make up to Hiroki.

Seething, Hiroki stabbed at his sushi with his chopsticks. The whole thing just... _sucked_.

By the time the first bell rang, Hiroki was so angry he'd given himself a headache from glaring too much. He was also completely miserable, and finally ready to admit it. So, for the first time since their friendship had begun, he finally broke down and was the one to do the making-up.

"Akihiko!" he called as his friend and the interloper packed up their lunches to return to their classroom. Akihiko looked up, one eyebrow raised at him, his impassive expression firmly in place.

That stung, and Hiroki tried not to show it. Akihiko hadn't looked at him like _that_ in years. Swallowing his pride, Hiroki forced himself to continue. "Can I talk to you for a sec? Alone?" he added, flicking a glance at Takahashi.

To his further irritation, the asshole just smiled at him. "Of course, Kamijou-kun," Takahashi said happily. "I'll see you in class, Usagi. Don't be late!"

"Ah," Akihiko nodded, and Takahashi had the nerve to _wave_ at Hiroki as he left.

Once they were alone on the roof, Akihiko folded his arms and leaned against the wall. "Well?" he asked. "Are you going to speak to me again? I was starting to think you were actually planning to hold a grudge this time."

"What the fuck, Akihiko!" Hiroki burst out, unable to contain himself. He'd intended to apologize, really he had. For _what_ , he wasn't quite sure, since this whole stupid mess was Akihiko's fault to start with. But he'd been willing to apologize if it would get him Akihiko's attention back.

But this was just too much. Akihiko talked like... like Hiroki was some kind of spoiled brat who'd been having a sulking fit, or something! "Why are you spending all your time with that guy?" Hiroki demanded. "What happened to _us_? Why is he suddenly in the picture? He's not like us. He's not into literature, or writing. He's got decent grades, but he's no kind of genius or anything. From everything I've heard about him, he's just... just..."

"Normal," Akihiko said softly, and Hiroki nodded emphatically.

"Exactly!" he exclaimed, then belatedly realized that Akihiko hadn't meant the word as an insult the way Hiroki had. "Wait, what? Why is that a _good_ thing?"

"We're not normal, you and I," Akihiko said, his voice matter of fact. "I've always wanted to know what it was like to have a 'normal' life. Takahiro doesn't care about my family, or my money, or any of the rest of it. He just honestly wants to be friends."

"Wha..." Hiroki gaped at him, at a total loss. " _I_ don't care about any of those things," he pointed out, incensed. "Why isn't that good enough for you all of a sudden?"

"Hiroki..." Akihiko suddenly looked... tired. Weary, and a little sad. "Stupid. You're the one who's been avoiding me, not the other way around. Takahiro wants to be your friend, too."

"Yeah, well, what if I don't want to be his?" Hiroki snapped. "I'm _your_ friend, that's enough for me. Damn it," he swore as the second bell rang, and he realized they were both going to be late. "At least say you'll come over to my place after school!" he added, hastily gathering up his things.

"I will," Akihiko promised, and that made Hiroki feel about a million times better. They could sort this all out later, alone.

Akihiko paused in the doorway, looking back at him, still with that odd, sadly tired expression. "But maybe it's not enough for _me_ ," Hiroki thought he heard the other boy murmur. When Hiroki looked up at him, though, Akihiko just shook his head and headed down the stairs without waiting for him.

More disturbed by the whole thing than he wanted to admit, Hiroki gnawed at his lower lip as he hurried after his friend. They'd hash it out tonight, and things could go back to normal. He wouldn't allow anything else.

* * *

Ordinarily Akihiko wrote quickly but neatly, his precise handwriting covering the page with kana and kanji that were easily readable by anybody. Hiroki was always grateful for that when he read his friend's stories; if it had been the other way around, Akihiko would have gone blind from trying to puzzle out Hiroki's chicken scratch.

Tonight, though, Akihiko was definitely _scribbling_ in the journal he'd brought with him. His hand flew over the page, filling in the words so quickly Hiroki was startled his hand didn't cramp. He was totally absorbed in his work, too, oblivious to the snacks and drinks Hiroki's mother had brought for them to share.

Realizing he was staring at Akihiko _again_ , Hiroki scowled and wrenched his attention back to his book. Akihiko had arrived on his doorstep, talked politely with his family over dinner, and then settled in with his journal on the futon Hiroki kept for him. Hiroki was in the other futon with his book, of course. The scene was just so _normal_ for the two of them that it made Hiroki feel a little better, even though nothing had really been settled between them. Maybe this was just Akihiko's way of indicating that all was forgiven and forgotten.

Or maybe he was just that absorbed in the story he was working on. Either was possible.

Hiroki blinked and discovered that his gaze had wandered over to Akihiko once more. Sighing, he gave up on his book entirely, setting it down and curling up on his side to watch his friend write. How many hours had he spent doing exactly this? He loved to watch Akihiko write, especially when they were in private. In public, Akihiko always kept his expression bland, but when it was just the two of them he let whatever emotion he was pouring into the story flit through his eyes. Even so, only someone who knew him as well as Hiroki did would be able to see them.

Tonight, Akihiko's eyes showed something Hiroki couldn't quite identify. It was a sort of anticipatory shine, accompanied by a light flush that spread over Akihiko's cheeks and gave colour to his normally pale face. In fact...

"Oi," Hiroki finally spoke up, a little concerned. "You feverish or something?"

Akihiko actually jumped, his pen jerking on the page as he looked up, startled. "What? No. Why?"

"You're flushed, and your eyes are glazed," Hiroki told him. He raised an eyebrow when that made Akihiko flush more. On anyone else he'd have called it a blush, in fact. But Akihiko never blushed.

"Mm. I'm just excited about this story, I guess," Akihiko said. Contrary to his words, however, he flipped the notebook closed and set it aside. "We should get some sleep, I suppose. We have school tomorrow. Do you need to use the bathroom?"

"Nah, I went earlier," Hiroki shook his head.

"Okay, I'll just be a minute, then." Akihiko slipped out from under his covers on the side away from Hiroki and headed for the door.

The moment he was out of the room, Hiroki reached for the notebook. The last one Akihiko had given him to read had ended on a terrible cliffhanger, and he'd been _dying_ to know what happened next ever since. Understandably Akihiko never let the books out of his possession until he'd filled them, but surely he wouldn't mind Hiroki getting a head start on reading this one.

To his disappointment, however, the notebook wasn't numbered '36', but was instead titled with the English letter 'A'. Hiroki was a little confused by that; in all the time he'd been reading Akihiko's stories, the notebooks had always been identified simply by number. Why change now? Had he started a second story, and didn't want to get them mixed up?

Flipping open the book, Hiroki eagerly scanned the first page. Even if it was a different story, Akihiko's writing was _always_ good. It sure as hell beat the boring crap he'd been assigned in his lit class.

He got through two paragraphs before he realized that it wasn't another novel - or at least, not one like anything Akihiko had written before. It took another full paragraph before his brain accepted what his eyes were telling it, however. Hiroki made a choked noise and dropped the book like it had scorched him, eyes wide as he stared at it.

 _...whispered in his ear... tasted the lingering flavour of green tea on the other boy's lips... knew it was forbidden, but he wanted it so bad..._

Slowly, half convinced that he must be mistaken, Hiroki picked up the notebook again and opened it to a random page. If anything, that one was _worse_.

 _...fingers teased over the newly bared skin... so hard he ached with it... "Oh gods, Takahiro!"..._

What was the expression? 'Like watching a train wreck'? That was exactly how Hiroki felt, unable to tear his eyes away from the increasingly steamy words on the page. It was horrifying. And yet, unlike the proverbial train wreck, it was also disturbingly hot.

Hiroki shifted uncomfortably, belatedly aware that his body was reacting, but unable to help himself. This was wrong, he knew he shouldn't be reading this. Bad enough that it was gay porn. Worse that Akihiko hadn't even made an _attempt_ to pretend the 'characters' weren't him and Takahashi. The whole thing made a nasty little lump settle in Hiroki's stomach, sour and squirming. Yet the words sucked him in and drew him along, and he didn't think he could stop reading if his life depended on it.

He was 'rescued' when the book was literally snatched out of his hands, but it was very definitely a case of frying pan to fire. Startled, Hiroki looked up to find a white-faced Akihiko glaring at him, clutching the notebook to his chest like a precious treasure. "Hiroki!" Akihiko snapped. "What the hell are you doing?"

Arousal and confusion had thoroughly fogged Hiroki's brain, and he found his mouth running without permission from his mind. "I thought it was the next part of the story, and that cliffhanger was really evil, Akihiko, so I figured I'd at least find out what happened, only it wasn't the story, and then... I..." Realizing he was about to admit that it had turned him on so much he couldn't stop reading it, Hiroki clamped his mouth shut and blushed so hard he was sure his ears had turned red.

In fact, he still couldn't get the damned thing out of his mind. Akihiko was standing there in his pyjamas, something Hiroki had seen a million times. But suddenly tonight he was aware of the way the thin cotton clung to every line of Akihiko's body, and of the way said body had apparently filled out quite a bit when Hiroki hadn't been paying attention. Helplessly Hiroki's eyes travelled down from the broad shoulders to the taut abdomen to the...

He wrenched his eyes back up, and was dismayed to find Akihiko giving him the same passive, emotionless look that he wore most of the time in public. "Wha... why are you looking at me like that?" he blurted out. Fuck, fuck, fuck! He'd been way too blatant in checking out his best friend just now, and Akihiko was mad at him. Hiroki didn't quite dare to drop his eyes and check his lap, but he could only hope that the thin blanket still half covering him was enough to hide his aroused state, or Akihiko would probably be even more upset. How weird was it for your best friend to read pornographic fantasies you'd written, and be turned on by them?

But if there was one thing Hiroki definitely didn't want, it was to drive Akihiko away. The other boy hadn't given him that closed look since they'd first become friends, and the sight of it now nearly tore Hiroki's heart to pieces. "Stop it," he demanded, his voice both high with fear and husky with arousal. "Don't look at me like that, damn it."

Akihiko's mouth tightened. "Why did you keep reading it?" he demanded, and Hiroki flinched. Why did he have to ask _that_ of all questions?

"I... uh..." Hiroki stared up into Akihiko's blank eyes, and wondered if he could get away with a lie. Not that he could think of one, and anyway Akihiko had always been able to see right through him. Flushing harder yet, he lowered his eyes and mumbled his answer. "Fuck it, Akihiko, I always read everything of yours. You know that." He fought with himself for a moment, then finally admitted what he figured had to be obvious. "It was hot."

"It... was?" To his surprise, when Akihiko finally dropped the emotionless mask, he revealed shock and vulnerability beneath it. "You're not... disgusted?"

Suddenly another reason why Akihiko might be closing himself off occurred to Hiroki, and the events of the night -hell, of the whole last few weeks - rearranged themselves abruptly in his mind. He jerked his head up and stared at his best friend, and sure enough, Akihiko actually looked... scared.

"Idiot," Hiroki said. "What, did you think I would care?" He snorted. "Did you think I didn't _know_? _You_ were my first kiss, thank you very much. I kinda suspected."

Surprise, then overwhelming relief flooded Akihiko's eyes. The other boy slowly sank down on his futon, still hugging the notebook to him, but now Hiroki realized the gesture was more like clutching a shield than holding a treasure. "You knew already? And it doesn't bother you?" Akihiko let out a long breath, his head hanging. "I thought you'd realized that day on the roof, and that was why you left."

"Is _that_ why you never came to talk to me?" Hiroki could laugh, now, at his own paranoid fears.

Akihiko shrugged. "Well, that, and you never really seemed to cool off. I always come talk to you once you've calmed down." He hesitated, uncharacteristically shy. "It really doesn't bother you?"

"I kept reading the fucking book, didn't I?" Hiroki muttered, as close as he could bring himself to an admission that he might, maybe, just a little bit, be that way himself.

He looked at the delicate blush spread over Akihiko's cheeks, and suddenly his heart was pounding too fast. Okay, maybe more than just a little bit. And he still had a problem; there was no way in hell he was going to get to sleep in this state. The discussion had cooled him off a little, but every time he _looked_ at his friend it got worse again.

Hiroki waited until he was sure Akihiko wasn't looking right at him, then threw the covers aside and all but lunged past his friend for the door. Thankfully Akihiko didn't look up until Hiroki was past him, so his friend wouldn't be able to see the sorry state of Hiroki's body.

"Where are you going?" Akihiko asked.

"Bathroom," Hiroki ground out, hoping like hell Akihiko wouldn't call him on it.

No such luck. "I thought you said you went already?"

Hiroki paused in the doorway and glared back over his shoulder. "Shut it. I can go again if I want."

To his dismay, the look in Akihiko's eyes went from startled to knowing and a little smug. Snarling, Hiroki shut the screen door harder than was necessary, wishing for once that he lived in a Western-style house like Akihiko. It was so much more satisfying to slam their doors.

The moment he was safely inside the bathroom, Hiroki dropped to his knees and had his hand inside his pants. Breathing hard, he curled his fingers around his aching cock and stroked hard and fast. In his mind's eye he kept replaying the scenes he'd been reading in the book - except it was _him_ in the other role, not Takahashi.

It was _him_ that Akihiko cornered and pressed up against a wall at school. Him that his friend kissed, tongues sliding together and bodies pressed tight. Him that Akihiko teased and tormented, sliding his hands under Hiroki's uniform and gliding his fingers over the bare skin. Him that tried desperately to muffle his moans as Akihiko dropped to his knees and took Hiroki in his mouth...

Only the fist he'd stuffed in his mouth kept Hiroki's shout from drawing the attention of the whole house. He came hard, shaking with the force of the orgasm. He'd fooled around a bit and experimented, but this was like nothing he'd experienced before. Thinking of Akihiko touching him made the whole thing ten times more intense.

Panting, Hiroki slumped against the sink, feeling feverish and a little sick. There was no doubt about it, not after that little foray into fantasyland.

When the fuck had he fallen in love with his best friend?

And what the fuck was he going to do about it?

* * *

The tapping of keys on his laptop wasn't terribly effective at blocking out the soft murmurs coming from the other side of the table, but Hiroki had gotten very good at focusing on what he was doing and not paying attention to anything else. It was a skill he'd been forced to develop, since Akihiko seemed to take every opportunity to drape himself all over Takahashi, and the only time Hiroki really saw Akihiko any more was in Takahashi's company.

Takahashi, incredibly, seemed to remain innocently unaware of Akihiko's attraction to him, laughing and acting like Akihiko was just teasing him. This despite the fact that if any teacher had caught them at it, Akihiko's 'teasing' could have gotten them both expelled. Hell, they might even have expelled Hiroki just for being there. Oh, it wasn't even as bad as what Hiroki had seen some couples get up to in the secluded corners of the school, but the fact that they were both boys was what would get the teachers up in arms.

Still, if Hiroki hadn't seen it for himself - and oh, how he wished he hadn't - he'd never have believed Takahashi could honestly not clue in. Despite himself Hiroki glanced across the table, and got an eyeful of Akihiko draped over Takahashi's shoulder, practically nuzzling his neck as he leaned over the other boy to point at something in the book they were studying from. Takahashi just laughed and wriggled like it tickled, not reacting in the least to what Hiroki seemed to be blatantly sexual overtones.

"Usagi! Stop, before one of the librarians comes by," Takahashi scolded Akihiko. "Honestly. You don't tease Kamijou-kun nearly this much. Why do you pick on me?"

"Because Hiroki doesn't squirm nearly as much as you do, Takahiro," Akihiko replied blandly. "He just glares and punches me. It wouldn't be nearly as amusing to tease him like this."

Hiroki ducked his head to hide his sudden flush at the mental image of Akihiko cuddling up to _him_ like that. If only! Gods, _he_ wouldn't brush Akihiko off like some kind of amusing irritation. He would be more than happy to respond in kind, and maybe take things a little further. Akihiko _had_ to be getting frustrated by Takahashi's lack of response. Hiroki would love to help him let off some of that steam...

Wrenching his mind off that track, Hiroki refocused on the screen and swore as he saw that the last several words he'd typed were, in fact, complete gibberish. He erased them and started again, hoping his blush wasn't as obvious as it felt like it was.

"Well, I'm afraid that's all the amusement you're going to get for today, because I have to go pick up my little brother from school," Takahashi said, closing his textbook. "Mom and dad are both going to be out late tonight, and Misaki hates to be alone. Good luck with that essay, Kamijou-kun! Don't let Usagi distract you too much."

Hiroki forced himself to look up, and was rather proud that he managed to maintain a composed expression. "If I let him bother me, I'd never get _anything_ done," he said, rolling his eyes. Takahashi laughed, and waved on his way out.

To Hiroki's disgust, Akihiko stared after the idiot long after he was out of sight, mooning like... like a lovesick schoolgirl. As much as it distressed Hiroki to see Akihiko pining over someone else, he hated knowing that his friend was hurting for any reason.

"You should just say something," he blurted out, scowling at his computer screen as if it had deeply offended him. "He's too damned dense to figure it out on his own, despite the bomb-sized hints you keep dropping on him."

"He's not dense, he's just innocent," Akihiko protested mildly, propping his chin in his hand and still staring after Takahashi. "I can't say anything. It would make him uncomfortable. I don't mind, as long as I can be near him."

"Oh, bullshit!" Hiroki said, slamming the laptop closed and glaring at Akihiko instead. "What the hell kind of attitude is that? You'll never get anything you want if you come at life with that attitude, Akihiko."

"Not life, just Takahiro," Akihiko corrected him. "I don't want to cause trouble for him. And I don't want to risk losing his friendship."

"Coward," Hiroki accused him. A moment later his conscience twinged him. Who the hell was he to be sneering at Akihiko for being too scared to confess? Not like _he'd_ said anything to _Akihiko_. He was no better, dragging around after Akihiko like a whipped puppy hoping for scraps of affection. In fact, he might even be worse, since he was willingly torturing himself by hanging around with Akihiko and Takahashi together.

 _I don't mind, as long as I can be near him._ No, he definitely had no room to throw stones at his friend.

"I still don't get what you see in him, anyway," he muttered as he started packing up his bag.

"Well, of course you don't, you're not interested in him that way," Akihiko said.

"No, I'm not, because he's a _twit_ , Akihiko," Hiroki said. "There're plenty of hotter guys in the school, and lots of smarter, funnier, more interesting ones. Probably even some that are gay, and would happily _return_ the interest." _Like me._ "Why _him_?"

"Because," Akihiko said firmly, shaking his head. "Just because. I can't explain it any better than that, Hiroki."

"Yeah, well..." Hiroki trailed off, and shrugged. What the hell could he say to that? "It just sucks, watching you drag around pining away over him, and him too oblivious to even notice. I... I want you to be happy. Stupid," he added, just in case Akihiko thought he was getting mushy or something.

For a brief moment, Akihiko's eyes softened and he looked touched. Then he grinned. "Why, Hiroki, I didn't know you cared so much," Akihiko teased him. "If I didn't know better, I'd think you were jealous."

"J-jealous?" Hiroki sputtered, feeling all the blood drain from his face. Oh, gods, was he really being that obvious? Fuck, now what the hell was he supposed to do? "What the hell would I have to be _jealous_ about?"

"If you keep trying to convince me not to be interested in him, I'll have to assume you want him for yourself," Akihiko said.

Hiroki nearly wilted with relief that Akihiko had completely misread him. "Idiot! As if I'd even want him," he snapped. "You're welcome to him - if you ever get the guts to do something about him."

Akihiko shook his head. "It's enough," he insisted. "This is enough for me."

 _Yeah,_ Hiroki thought miserably, following his friend out of the library. _But what if it's not enough for me?_

* * *

"Can you believe it? I mean, seriously, has the guy even read the fucking book?" Hiroki ranted, gesturing wildly with the hand not occupied by his bag. "How the fuck could he give me a B-? I know more about the literature of that period than he does!" He fumed kicking at a rock on the sidewalk. It spun into a nearby brick wall with a satisfying 'crack', but did little to relieve his irritation.

"Perhaps he's jealous," Akihiko remarked, shrugging. "Not all teachers took the job because they want to help kids learn things. Some do it for the power trip."

"Yeah, well, if I was a teacher I'd fucking well be honest enough to admit it if a student knew more than I did," Hiroki said. "And then I'd make sure I learned more than he knew! I don't think this guy is even _interested_ in literature, Akihiko."

"Perhaps he studied it because he thought it would be easier than something concrete like sciences or math," Akihiko suggested. Hiroki growled. Nothing pissed him off more than people who treated literature like it was boring or worse, _easy_. There was so much depth and complexity in historical novels; it was like building three-dimensional art out of words. Hiroki could never understand why so many other people seemed oblivious to that.

Then again, as far as he was concerned, the majority of people were blithering idiots. Much like the person he spotted running to catch up to them now. "Usagi!" Takahashi called, a little out of breath. "There you are! You left class too fast. Hello, Kamijou-kun."

"Hey," Hiroki replied with as much grace as he could muster. Despite the past few weeks he'd spent hanging out with Akihiko and Takahashi, he hadn't been able to bring himself to warm up to the other boy. Thankfully, Takahashi seemed as oblivious to Hiroki's antagonism as he was to Akihiko's interest in him.

It didn't help that Hiroki had to watch the way Akihiko's expression went all soft and mushy at the sight of the guy. "Takahiro," he said, smiling at the boy he loved. Hiroki could have gagged.

"Usagi, I'm so sorry to hear about the contest," Takahashi said, confusing Hiroki. "I read the results at lunch, but then I didn't have a chance to talk to you since then. Are you okay?"

Akihiko looked startled, then warmly grateful. "It's nothing," he said, shrugging. "Given the competition, I didn't really expect to win. It's enough that they chose me as a finalist at all."

"Contest?" Hiroki repeated, now utterly baffled. "What contest? Finalist? What the hell are you guys talking about?"

"Eh? The writing contest that Usagi entered last month, of course," Takahashi said, turning to Hiroki with a surprised look. "Did you forget the results would be announced today? They put it in the paper and everything."

Hiroki was no more enlightened than he had been to start with. "Why the hell didn't you tell me about this?" he demanded of Akihiko, hurt. Wasn't he Akihiko's best friend? Just because the guy had a crush on an idiot was no reason for him not to tell Hiroki about something that big.

"I did, Hiroki," Akihiko said, with a tone of exasperated amusement. "Several times, in fact."

"Bullshit." Hiroki frowned at him. "This is the first I've heard of it. Twit. You just thought you told me."

"But he did tell you," Takahashi insisted. "At the same time he told me, in the library. We've talked about it several times. You even commented on it."

"You were writing that essay," Akihiko told him. "I swear, Hiroki, it's like your mouth is on autopilot when you're working on something. You participate in the conversation, but your brain clearly isn't engaged."

Hiroki stopped dead in the middle of the sidewalk, stunned. Was that possible? Could he really have forgotten something that important? If it had just been Akihiko, he'd have brushed it off as a joke or his friend being absentminded. It had happened before, after all.

Or had it? All those times when Akihiko thought he'd told Hiroki something but actually hadn't... _Had_ he? And this was just the first time he'd had a witness to back him up?

"Don't worry about it, Hiroki," Akihiko said, shaking his head and clapping Hiroki on the shoulder. "You're just a little focused. I get the same way when I'm writing."

"But are you sure you're okay about the contest?" Takahashi asked, as the two of them continued walking. "You seemed down all day, I just couldn't figure out why until I read the results."

"I'm fine," Akihiko assured him. "I suppose it was a little disappointing, but I'll have to get used to that if I really want to be published."

Still standing there, Hiroki stared after them, feeling like he'd had a boulder dropped on him. Akihiko had been down? Enough that Takahashi-the-Oblivious had noticed? Why hadn't _Hiroki_ realized?

Because he'd been too caught up in his own anger over his mark on the essay, he realized numbly. The same essay he'd apparently been too absorbed in writing to actually register something as important as Akihiko being a finalist in what must have been a big contest.

Finally, _finally_ Hiroki realized just what it was Akihiko saw in Takahashi, at least in part. The guy might be oblivious to Akihiko's interest... but clearly that didn't extend to obliviousness of Akihiko in general. And Takahashi was so easy-going that he always had attention to spare for other people's concerns and problems, instead of getting wrapped up in his own.

The way Hiroki always did.

Since the day they'd first met in their secret place, Akihiko had been helping Hiroki deal with this or that problem, supporting him and encouraging him. And yeah, sure, Hiroki supported and encouraged Akihiko in turn about his writing. But he'd never really made Akihiko his _priority_ , he realized now.

Takahashi could, and had. And that was why Akihiko had fallen for him instead of Hiroki.

Feeling shamed and humbled, Hiroki managed to kickstart his brain again and jogged to catch up with the other two. "Hey, wait for me!" he called, much subdued. They turned to smile at him, and now that Akihiko was laughing again, Hiroki could indeed see by contrast that he'd been down before. Takahashi had already teased him into a better mood.

Hiroki resolved in that moment to pay better attention to the people he cared about, but even so he knew he would never be able to devote his full attention to Akihiko the way Takahashi could and did.

In his heart, he silently released his hope that Akihiko would give up on Takahashi and turn to him. Hiroki would never like it, and was fairly certain he would always love Akihiko, but he knew now that Takahashi would be a million times better for Akihiko than Hiroki could be, even if he never noticed that Akihiko wanted him.

As long as Akihiko had someone who could make him happy, that would just have to be enough for Hiroki.


End file.
